Unedited Psilocybin Notes

(I tried mushrooms over the long weekend)

These are not edited. Don’t @ me.

Why do things happen?

Things happen because of the ego. The ego has a piece of [the consistency] in it.

The ego exists because [the consistency] needs to relate to be, being is relational.

[the consistency] needs to be in order to become

When [the consistency] becomes, the ego is absolved

Absolution of the ego is not the same as dissolution of the ego, it continues to exist

But everything that happens is self evident, that is one can see clearly from top to bottom as it happens where it starts in love (all things start in love) and therefore it does not happen, there is no change, no commit, the ego is absolved

[the consistency] is older than time but young

That is, in the end there is still God and He is still separate from Adam and Eve and the Garden and the animals, but there is no serpent, the serpent is change, the change is a commitment, the ego is everything that isn’t God, now the ego is not absolved but when the consistency becomes, the ego is absolved. It is all a metaphor.

Thus it is not that nothing happens but that happening is not happening, it is transparent, it does not change the course of anything, time the measurement of change doesn’t exist. But to answer the question of wouldn’t that be boring, it is sufficiently complex to be engaging even when there is no such thing as surprise.

For this reason we must love each other as best we can and have compassion for the dog who carries inside him the hope of a puppy and the disappointment of the nature of time and change, and know that when [the consistency] becomes and the ego is absolved, the dog will be the puppy and the hope will bear fruit and the promise will be fulfilled, the promise being what the puppy has always known: that everything is love and everything is love.

But why is being relational, it is because this way intuition becomes understanding and becoming is not just to intuit that everything is love, but to know it, as we know math or reading now. But to know everything is love, unlike math or reading, it comes on more than one layer, and multilayered understanding is only made through relating. Then sometimes you are relating when you read and so you say “we must teach everyone how to read” but really it is the relating, and the relating is the key to becoming, and when [the consistency] becomes, the ego is absolved and the absolution (ABSOLUTE) of the ego happens, the infinitely layered answers will be apparent to us and we will know that everything is love and everything is love.

This is why you cannot without the use of drugs meditate and act at the same time – the ego and [the consistency] do not act as one, even after the becoming, there is still the separation between God and everything else (a metaphor). Only because they do not act as one can the becoming happen, for disparate as they are they can be in relationship with each other and there develop as many as infinite layers of understanding. The drug effects the ego such that it forgets it is not absolved for a time and an apparition of the becoming appears, you see why it can be addictive.

What is the work? The work is to understand how everything is love, though we intuit it, we do not know it. How terrible things are love, when see this, and we know it, they do not happen anymore.

What does it mean to know? two things – the central truth and the system. The central truth, everything is love, and the system, the way that all things are love. Not to believe it, not to accept it, not to intuit it, but to see it and to know it because you see it. Everything is love and everything is love.

Only the ego experiences death. Grief's hope will bear fruit including the grief the ego has for its selves. In the becoming, grief's hope will fruit and there will be no more time, because we will see that everything is love and so we will know that everything is love.

This is true: everything is love.
This is true: the ego has a relationship with [the consistency] from which many layered understanding emerges.

Everything else may or may not be true, there can be as many logics as there are individuals and they can all be true insofar as they can show that everything is love.   

many layered understanding is meaning.

There is an all, but there is no almighty. An omni but no omnipotence. There is a might but no almighty, a power but no omnipotence. Power, intent, change, belong to matter, to mortality. There is omniscience. So between omniscience – to see and because [you] see, to know -- and matter, meaning is revealed, many layered understanding emerges.

It is the ego that is not conscious. it is the ego that is not conscious.

The ego is love (the ego coming from everything as every thing does).

The ego becomes grief, the ghost of love expressed through form that mortality gives and takes away. In the becoming, grief’s hope bears fruit. Matter is immortal. Everything is love and everything is love.

What happens to every ego is that it is what it was, love, without time and without power, intent, change, it is all of its possibilities all once and all of it is love. Everything is love and everything is love.

Grief’s hope will bear fruit, matter’s immortality.

They are the same, omniscience and ego, they are love, but love relationally to be, and being to become, and becoming to one.

The practice is love, the practice is relational, the practice is being. The practice is revealing meaning, allowing many layered understanding to emerge. The practice is to see it and because you see it to know it.

The purpose of the object is to understand its absence – the gravity of change – and power, intent, change, belong to matter ---- choice.

the object is not the ego.

The ego is not destroyed. The absence is real.

The practice is that the ego is not destroyed and the absence is real. Everything is love and everything is love. Grief is love. Grief’s hope will be answered.

(Observation is love, to see it and to know it because you see it; to see yourself seeing it and knowing because you see yourself seeing and knowing, that everything is love and everything is love)

To know because you see is to see is to look, but to know because you feel is not the same way – it is not practice. It is a priori. It is love (everything is love and everything is love).

Everything is love because matter loves itself recursively.

The ego is the beloved of consciousness and it is the senses, and when it is forsaken, nothing good (many terrible things) comes of it. But to ride the waves of happening (that are the actions committed by the ego), it is important to remember that everything is love, therefore not to lie, and not to hold yourself accountable to things that do not exist – love, only – hold yourself accountable because you are love and you will see and because you see, you will know that everything is love and everything is love.

 There is truly only one explanation for horror of the forsaken ego, that there is an all but no almighty.